Yes, I do know my son is different

I do not need to see your "I am holier than thou" looks, I do not need to hear your "tsk tsk" sounds.

My son is different from your perfect (ly evil, ill mannered) child. You know what I'm glad too!

Yes, my son has autism, he is high functioning, no there is not a shot he can get for it.

My son also is very loving, caring, friendly, curious and intelligent. Autism is only a piece of him, not the whole of him.

Let's go take a brief glimpse into our children's world.

Angelic Perfect Child let's call her APC and my son, let's call him D.

Scenario :

20 kids playing at playground 10-12 parents. D is playing, rolling and covering himself in sand (it's a sensory thing) he's happy, I'm happy. APC is playing carefully so as not to get her dress dirty, scared of a parent's reaction I do not know, could be OCD, not for me to judge.

Another little girl falls of the swing, next to APC, starts crying. Apc gets off the swing and runs to parent. Pointing at sobbing girl (SG). D runs over to SG gets his face a micro-millimeter from hers and shouts, " You are crying are you sad?!!" then runs to me to tell me SG is crying and sad. APC points to D and says something, parent mutters something both giggle while pointing at D. I ask D "did you as Are you OK?"; he runs back to SG face micro-millimeter from hers and asks loudly "Are you Okay?" SG stops crying and looks confused. D runs to me "I asked Are you Okay" while smiling and high-fiving me. I check once more for a parent, then start to SG, her mother runs to her and checks her out. I tell D, "I am so proud that you saw her cry and knew she was sad... and asked if she was okay. You did a great job, you earn an extra 2 stars today - you are almost at the new "insert superhero" toy you want!"

SG's mom walks over to me and asks why so much praise?" I explain, "D has autism, he does not understand facial expressions ...18 months of facial/ emotion learning and how to act when he sees them. 18 months of practicing everyday - mommy sad face, happy face...He finally reacted in real time, without prompts from anyone. We made a great stride today!" I also ask if SG is ok.

SG's mom "You do realize your is the only child or parent to check on mine.. In my book that is bigger achievement than 2 stars." We chat for awhile and SG sits playing in the sand near D, asking questions about his behavior and likes/ dislikes; D is ready to leave - we stop and pickup the new superhero toy he wants, he earned it!

Yes, my son is different, thankfully he is different! He cares!

2 Weeks that change you

On June 9, yes for those who know me that is my birthday, I found out my oldest brother, Don, had fallen ill and my son, Duncan had been accepted into a camp for children living with autism.

Less than a week later on June 15, I lost my brother - he slipped away peacefully and painlessly. I cried most of the day & night. I still tear up thinking about Don. I miss him so much.

One week later (2nd day of camp) my son told us he had a Happy day, spontaneously! If you are new or never been around a child with autism this is a huge event! Spontaneous conversation about how he was feeling! I cried, happily.

On Wednesday morning, Duncan woke up and came into my room where I was dressing for work. He looked at me, in the eye and said, "I dream of Uncle Don, he wave." Duncan left the room and went back to his book of robots. I cried. He remembers Don ...

Last night, Duncan walked up to before bedtime and said, " I love my mommy" & hug me.

Yes this month has been bittersweet, I like to think Uncle Don has chosen to help Duncan. Thank You Don!

Don, I still cannot find the words that say how much I miss you, what a great impact you had on my life, so I turn to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones - "The Day He didn't Die":

"...Still I won't forget the day before The last day of his life I really miss him He would have loved this I hope he can hear me I really miss him He would have loved this I hope he can hear me. And how I loved how he lived How he was loved and admired A knack a certain flare for life And how he had it wired He'd never give up-he wouldn't give in He had a wonderful way of living There's not been a day One hasn't gone by When I don't think about The day he didn't die I really miss him He would have loved this I hope he can hear me..."

Welcome to my new blog

This blog will be where I talk about autism, how it affects my life and what little I find out about autism and I'll share what I know.